So, it was the Saturday before Labor Day and all the Mall Rats where out in delight. For it was the first Saturday in a series of two. As Sunday could be counted as Saturday take two. If you are off on Monday for Labor Day! In this sense it works! My best friend and I decided that we would go and treat ourselves to some material clothing therapy (as we had the LONGEST day at work). We go to a Mall that is north of my hometown. It's about a 20 minute drive via the highway. Now, you have to remember that when you go out with me. People stare... viciously eye me like a trophy on display. Not because I am simply gorgeous but because I know they go "What is that?" Though, they where not raised properly in this sense. I am never a what. I'm a "Who"! Which I am happy to be who I am. I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Anyway, back to the story. So, I go shopping and just act like I normally do. LOUD and very hyper. Though, I am odd. That's another story. If you know me, you know how that is. So, we go about shopping we pick up a few things. I finally get a new pair of Skinny Jeans. I LOVE SKINNY JEANS. For some reason the feeling of tight denim squeezing my hips just gives me jollies! I cannot contain myself around them. It's kinda awesome. We decide that we are going to look for an album by the band "Imagine Dragons" at a store called "F.Y.E." if not everyone has heard of this place. It's kinda like the haven for CDs and DVDs. Well, around here it is! Note: I was wearing my awesome shades. They are A-Line 80s vintage yellow bordered glasses. Kinda boss, cause I have AWESOME taste in everything!
The part of the story that is significant though is what is going to happen next. So, my bestie and I are walking through and aisle and this group of girls (who had to be the age of 14-16) where eyeing me like the latest Justin Bieber album! Walking by them I just feel them staring me down. It's like they are going to just feast on my insides. Which, this is a common feeling the Tegster gets because well... it's a daily feeling. I am use to it. So I basically paid them no attention. UNTIL... one of them decides to walk up to me and tell me "I just really wanted to say that your 'sunglasses' are really awesome." Now, three reasons why this was not okay.
- The reason why she approached me
- What it meant to approach me
- Why she did it
The reason she approached me: She wanted to find a reason to come up to me to hear my voice, see my face from close up, and assume my gender after what she say.
What it meant to approach me: When you do this, it's an act of placing someone in a box. Basically, since she could not assume my gender from a far. She needed to get key clues of my body and voice. So, approaching me with a compliment that was fasly placed. Gave her this advantage.
Why she did it: She ultimately wanted to answer her friends and herself's question. Boy or girl? Which in all honest. Curious but rude.
Now, you are probably wondering how this is rude. Basically they had to assume my gender. Since they could not file me in the boy or girl category. They wanted desperately to do this. I know, just little teenagers being ignorant, but an example I want to make. So, this is called "Checking Privilege". Meaning, that since I was not assumed either gender she had to find a way to affirm which gender I was. Now as a white female who was CIS gendered and Heterosexual she has more privilege than I. Meaning, that she can walk out into public and people can look at her and assume her a gender that is most likely the one she herself identifies as. Now, since she could not identify me. She tried her best to do it. Sneaky, but still did it. The act of checking a persons privilege is pretty darn mean and rude. She walked away and I looked right at my best friend and said "She just checked my privilege." in which I had to explain to him what that meant. So, do not EVER do this to a person. It's just plain... rude! Hopefully this never happens to you. If so, please make a point to remember that the world is ignorant and not everyone can be a lucky as us!
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