Remember when I mentioned we would dive deeper into my ideal state of dating? Well, I think this is that blog! Only because I actually have become romantically involved with someone on a grander scale than I am use too and I wanted you; my readers to understand how I go about dating. When, in this world the majority of folks are Monogamous. Which, is something I am not because of my experiences have led me to understand things differently than most. That's not saying I am right and those people are wrong or vice versa. I am just stating that my life experiences validate who I am and how I go about my life.
Let us elaborate on Monogamy for a moment. Monogamy is the belief that when you date someone you and that person are exclusive or only date each other. I've been in many a Monogamous relationship and after feeling I was not fulfilled I decided that it wasn't my cup of tea. People who can be Monogamous, I adore you because that makes you feel complete. I at least hope it does. Many folks force themselves into Monogamous relationships for many reasons. Which, if you have to do that to be who you are. By all means; Get it!
Now, we have my belief system. Which recently was brought to light by just the society about me as well as the community I am part of. I like to think that the idea of an open relationship makes perfect sense for many reasons: 1) By human nature, we are not monogamous creatures. Our primal instinct to mate and reproduce is just a key element in our life. It's built into our Genetics. Some of us though do not have this instinct and live fruitful lives. Which our A-sexual friends seem to make great strides without this. Myself, I must have the genetics you didn't get. My sexual drive is higher than most! I like it that way! 2) Monogamous relationships are highly encouraged in religious sects. I cannot agree with this, because it's an organized religion forcing those who follow it's beliefs to mainstream Monogamy and even great make it between "Man" and "Woman". We all know this to be bullshit. As people can marry who they want and fuck who they like.
Ideally an open relationship serves two purposes to myself. It is built to mean that in a relationship if I feel sexually unfulfilled by my partner (which is not their fault at all). I can go seek fulfillment with another sexual partner and come back to them. It's to make sure that I do not become stale with just a single person. It's a "safety net" for both of us. Let's say I have a kink that my partner does not like to indulge in. Not their fault, they just have different sexual preference in which I respect. I just really want to indulge my kink. This means I can do that, and my partner will be okay with it. I would encourage the same thing if they had a kink I was not into. Which, can be the case as well. An open relationship also means that I can seek companionship from another if I do not feel my partner is progressing the way I want a relationship to move. It's a good way to gauge what different people have to offer and who would be best to asset your needs when needed. That way I can leave a relationship with someone and know that they are going to be okay with it because it was open and these are reasons an open relationship exist. I don't feel I could be "Married" to a person for my life. Just because the system of "Marriage" is a system of ownership and oppression to my Female bodied persons. Which is not okay with me. I would though love a "Lifetime Companion" just because to be able to say I can be with someone for my entire life and they are not bound to me through systems of oppression. That's amazing. It's a joint relationship built on trust, love, and growth. Nothing forced.
These are reasons why I ideally would like an "Open Relationship with a Lifetime Companion". That would be the greatest thing. I'm honestly happy I can say I can be happy in a relationship with a person and they can as well. We can have sex with different partners but also have sex with each other in a way that means we are sexual fulfilled. Doesn't that just sound grand?
I do want it understood that I do not mean I would be saying "I want to go out and shag everyone". I would not do that with a partner. Most cases I am sexual fulfilled with my partner and this is just a safety net to ensure that if we become dysfunctional in bed. I can fix that dysfunction and still be with my partner. Sexual preferences are different per person. Thus, the idea of being able to meet someone's sexual needs is an expectation I should never place on someone for it should not be placed on myself. If I do indulge in sexual acts with different persons though, I practice safe sex and do get myself tested regularly just because it's proper to do. It's good to be sexual fun, but safe sex is something I want to stress because of what it means. It means you are safe as well as others.
~ Tegan
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