Dear Reader,
I am glad that at this moment in time I can share this blog with and that you are reading it. To be honest, over a month and a half ago. I'd never have thought I would be writing this again. Things where pretty low and frankly I did not know where to turn. Luckily, things are looking up; way up for myself. I was terrified and scared for my well being.
A grand deal has happened in that time period. I was able to produce for myself a job (that pays very well) AND as well as I was able to find a new place to live. I live with some of my best friends I would say I have ever had in my life. If not for them, I would not have been here at this moment. It's been scary, and they have made those demons go away. Or at least helped me fight them off.
In February, February Eight to be exact is the day I started Hormones for Hormone Replacement Therapy. This means that I now have had for over a month, had Estrogen in my system. I have noticed changes, these changes being more drastic than most Trans* individuals and I believe the reason to be the fact that I am Inter-sex. Which has proven to be an interesting turn of events for my General Practitioner and myself. I have noticed a reduce growth of my body hair; I shave about every other day now for my facial area. My body fat has been moving (I have noticed that I now have a butt to sit on, as well as my breast area has thinned out). My nipples have started to grow, and they are harder than ever. Which, has proven to be very, very fun to touch.
My body has been drying out a ton and I have had to moisturise like crazy, which I have found to be a daily ritual for myself. As well as scratching myself as become a more sensational event for my body! Which for heavens sake I wish I had someone to actually just scratch my body. I did lose my sex drive, but I have found in the past week it has been returning with a different sense of amazingness. I cannot describe in words how much more intense and sensual an orgasm is now. My friend describes our new sex drive as "It's like you get a big cookie every once in a while, instead of little ones every so often." Which, I can attest to it's truth!
That's the interesting things of my body. Just been a roller coaster of fun! Though, if we want to be serious. Every so often I can be found crying. Just because I want to cry. No real reason to be crying. It just happens. I cannot control it nor do I think I want to. I just think it's all the years I didn't/couldn't cry. My body, just takes all the pent up crying and waterfalls it out into the ether. It's not bad nor is it good. It just is.
With that said, I leave you with a little bit more of inspiration. If you ever think you are at the bottom, that is when you will rise to the top. It took a month and a half, happily I am back to the top of my game! I hope that if you ever feel in doubt. You can realise your potential. That is what you need!
As Free as Your Hair,
Tegan Rowan Stryker
No comments:
Post a Comment